While reflecting on my life, I see the ups and downs of my journey on full display. There were times that I would have done many things differently but, I can’t help but think that each decision led me to a required learning experience. The ups of life felt like the sun was shining and lifting me in a way that felt unique and honestly very unfamiliar. A sense of confidence, quietness, and security would be the best way I could describe it. A feeling that I’ve continued to crave over the duration of my lifetime.
The clouds that occupied the same sky as the sun, would then take on the role of the downs of my life’s journey. The frustrations, losses, and setbacks that brought me to my knees time and again. A place where it felt like weakness had grabbed the wheel of my life. In those moments, it didn’t feel like there was light present anywhere. When looking through my rearview mirrors now, I see that I just wasn’t willing to see the light.
Those durations of time when life feels like it’s on autopilot, would compare to slightly overcast days. Manageable emotional experiences where light seems somewhat evenly dispersed.
“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”
I wonder if I came to view my life as expansive as the sky, if I might navigate the clouds in a way that would shed light on the confidence, quietness, & security that I’ve gotten a periodic glimpse of. A place and feeling that I can’t help but think we originated from.
By not aligning with a narrow sense of self, I feel like I’m coming to better understand the grand connection we have to one another. Could I be so bold as to say that, to be without body is our natural state?
Wade W. Bergner